Idea : Danil «Dendi» Ishutin
Editorial : Alexander «ZeroGravity» Kokhanovskyy

Conflicts (6.80)

Danil «Dendi» Ishutin

Hooking chicks in the club. Conflicts? What conflicts?
Danil «Dendi» Ishutin

A quarrel in the offing is like a sore]. In this case, if you suppress such situation it means you accentuate it. Even if we remember since our childhood that "speech is silver, but silence is golden" and "who knows nothing never doubts", probably, it is difficult to argue that the best conflict is one that did not happen. On the other hand, working with the same people every day, it is easy to yield to the vortex of a holy war about any topic - from salary to the winter cold .



As we are talking about a certain group of people(sports team etc.), it has a head that leads. The leaders are not interested in arguments at the preliminary stage. For example, comparisons like: "Look at him! How wonderful he is! How much useful he is! And here you are ... ". Competition can be effective in case we want a small effective community. The golden rule is "praise publicly, but criticize face to face". Do not forget about the aggressive teammates. Suppress or isolate - in theory is the task of leaders, if it is interested in teamwork. But it is just an external measure. Let's suppose that you are personally have such situation.


You are the participant


The most difficult thing is to redirect your thoughts to more adequate way, without insults. But we're not talking about an abstract street boor, but saving of good relations and healthy atmosphere in the team. So the efforts are definitely worth it. So remember one of the main principles - "all of quarrel's participants are blamed". Attacks him with his fists , then each to himself evil enemy. There is a problem - it is time to find a way out together.

But how to gain an understanding if you try to fight with logical arguments, you are tactful and patient, but the others shows miracles of awry thinking and swearing? Okay, it must be admitted this is by no means always the case. Rather, almost never. It's a trap of mind that wants to see us in a white coat, surrounded by people of all shades of brown. On the other side of the conflict there is a person with his own ideas and the same right to express them. And your seems to harmless and reasonable statements can cause unexpected irritation. You can try to look at the situation through the his eyes, to sit in his shoes. He definitely has reasons to think anyway: his life experience, thoughts at sleepless nights, Jupiter in Capricorn, and so on. What happened that a simple hail-fellow chat escalated into aggression? Maybe it's time to try someone else's shoes on and allow to try your own shoes on as well. Finally, you also have the vulnerable feelings, and does not worth to shoot them in the far corner.




Here, about emotions, we need to add the most important one. You disagree with someone, it captures you, blood is up, you have a couple of effective phrases on your hand, and then... And then it's time to remember that you argue with a point of view but do not curse the opponent. Do not direct your anger on your opponent, sink to the insults - even more so. Even if the situation is settled positively, said words will be remembered for a long time. We are all different, and that's great, and may be for one of you is easier to give up, leave the quarrel than bring it to a particular logical end. But while the solution is visible, in fact, there is no movement forward, and it can flash again. And in general, let's think positively: your friend is smart enough to find his position on a certain issue, even if it is different from yours. He is quite independent and self-confident to stand up for it. It is not always easy to leave the right to express each other's opinion, but it helps to keep mutual respect and self-esteem.

But as long as two heads are better than one, three - it's almost the jackpot.


If you are moderator


So you are mercied, and you are the third innocent part of "aggressive negotiations". And the goal - to solve the problem but not to get pleasure from it. So have to put aside your popcorn and to work a little. Let's start with the fact that you are mot affected by the quarrel and can talk without unnecessary emotion. Let's use it. Even if like one of the opponents and the second one is hated by you, a note of prudence will give you some additional points.

And so, when we commanded "break" it is worth to make an opportunity to speak both of them, trying not to interrupt and not allowing it to others.Gently as possible take down abrupt phrases, even gestures, or aggression will go to a new level .As for aggression - there is a key moment - remove unnecessary emotions. Often passions caused by shouts and insults, hides shamefully insignificant reason of the quarrel. Allow to debaters to putter their feelings. We don't need a  deep psychoanalysts. Let them to discuss what phrases or actions especially hurts them, and possibly apologize for them.

Now when we have separated the wheat from the offensive peels, the problem may disappear. But if the pot continues to boil, contrary to common sense, do not focus on the contradictions, but on the general terms - what both they agree? Everything else entirely based on your knowledge of their personalities. What arguments they respond better, how they can change their mind, how to shame them for vulgarity.



Well, if it is really seems to be hopeless, you can try to direct all negative to the other, extraneous track. Simply put the blame on external factors - the situation in the country, magnetic storms, gay parades etc. Everybody's doing it ©. An undesirable option, but we are talking about team atmosphere, not it's spiritual portrait.


When you initially have a certain prestige among the warring parties, of course, all a bit easier. Even as the party may request a judge and inflate your ego. If there is no authority  - that's a good opportunity to gain it.


Whoever you were, a participant or a witness of the quarrel, it is important to remember that not all the situations can be solved at the first time. Even when it seems that your life positions are incompatible, and easier to break up than to speak ever again. Conflict is not always terrible, it can push your self-development - rhetoric skills or overcoming the most difficult personal contradictions. But the best squarrel is one that is avoided.

AuthorDawn Date29 April 2014, 17:15 Views40530 Comments7
Comments (7)
Gold 18 Respect 14
#1 tr trixilon 20 June 2014, 11:32
Toxic players should read that moffugah. Thanks )
Gold 1 Respect 3
#2 ph Rakky_21 9 July 2014, 09:27
Inevitable for a team, but conflicts, will make they're bond stronger than ever. GO NA'VI reclaim the aegis!!
Gold 455 Respect 1276
#3 ph edrilordz 31 July 2014, 04:40
That's what are friends for. ^_^ GO NAVI GO!!!
Gold 0 Respect 0
#4 cr zatanas0102 7 September 2014, 02:34
now that´s what im talking about, comend him for great support :P
Gold 455 Respect 1276
#5 ph edrilordz 22 September 2014, 06:55
thanks NaVi!!!
Gold 455 Respect 1276
#6 ph edrilordz 22 September 2014, 06:55
more tutorials no more noobs anymore ^_^
Gold 0 Respect 1
#7 it J4ckTh3R1pp3r 19 December 2014, 14:09
Nice guide for improve community and Learn how to be a good player with others people. Because some times the people believe are best of others but we are all noob, because one single person don't know all or have information of this world!!!
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